a feeling for a day

Why are feelings so strong? If you think about it everything is based on our emotions.

Today i am having a sad/lonely day. I have been having a lot of these lately. I realised that i am addicted to socialization. I hate being alone. I never know what to do with myself. I do think it is good to be alone sometimes but i never am and when i have to be i hate it!

I think I am so sad because some people who mean a lot to me are not as in touch as i wish we were.

Kyle moved back home to Nova Scotia. I miss him tons! I really wish he would have stayed. I cant wait until he comes back in April for a visit!

One friend whom i was inseparable with, i don't really get to see much anymore which makes me sad too. We use to spend like everyday together, even if we never really did anything. I loved it. And i miss her so much! People don't even know the times i has this summer. They wouldn't even understand. its a you would have had to be there type of thing. Best summer of my life.

Kali is away in Australia. Man God is doing great things with her life. Teaching her things giving her experiences she could only have out there. Giving her new views of life. I anticipate her return home a lot!

Terrin is finished interning at the church. She went back to graduate from CPC
(Central Pentecostal College). It is so awesome shes finishing college. We sure do miss having her at nexus. I miss having her around as well. Gaming it and man i miss our talks. Man one thing i miss is debating with her. She was always right..no matter what. Yup i sure do miss the times we shared.

I tried to leave my self you know. I was going to move to Alberta with my auntie. I was really excited about it too. It would ave been such an amazing experience. I mean i spent every summer up there until i was 15, but living there would have been amazing. I would have lived in a small town so i wouldn't get myself into any trouble. I probably would have spent a lot of time on the Argo (its like a quad but it has 6 wheels) My auntie is the coolest too, both of them actually. All my life i always wondered when it would be that i was going to move up there. I gave up my chance. After i verbalized to people that i was going to leave it got harder and harder to do it. People really didn't want me to go. Some even cried, which really made me sad. In the end i made the decision i always do and do what people want me to do.

Do i regret not moving there? No not really. Does it hurt not to move there? Yea it does actually. But i am needed where i am. Everyone tells me that. Everyone tells me they love me and that they are here for me. People tell me I'm a leader and i know in my heart i am. I guess I'm just a fighter. I never give up. Some days i say i will and feel like i will but i never do. I always just usually do what I'm told.

Today I'm lonely, yes that is true but another day will come and so will more feelings..who knows how i will be feeling tomorrow..only God

Sometimes I'm still not sure if i passed the test or not though..i guess ill never know.

always Mollie-Ann