oh blessed is my life

You know I am so blesses with the life that I have. The people in it. The things i get to do. I am so grateful.

I know that my life is not the "life" most people would choose, but its mine and I like it. Hard days, sad days, mad days, weird and happy day. I am grateful for them. With out the trials in my life how would i know when to enjoy the good things? You wouldn't because the "good" days would just be another regular day.

When you do have a good day you notice it and you are grateful for it. They are days when nothing really seems to go wrong. Nothing can really bring you down. When you think about it and can bask in the greatness if not just for a second, it so amazing. Next time you have a good day. Cherish it.

When you have a bad day there is usually a reason behind it. Something or someone set you off. When it happens you eventually work through it or get passed it somehow, whether its a friend or drugs or crying. You get passed it. Bad days suck but they make you appreciate the good ones more.

When you have a sad day and your crying all day. Yea it sucks because your down. But it just means that something or someone really matters to you. Crying is okay..i even wish i cried more because after you cry its like a cleansing feeling. You got it out. You are relaxed and calm. Its really intriguing when i thin about it.

I have had many different types of days believe me. And so has everyone else in the world weather or not the choose to accept them when they come.

This change all the time..i say that all the time.. we just need to work with ourselves to work with the different moods and situations..how do we do this you ask? with God above, Jesus in our hearts and the Power of the Holy Spirit. for with them all things are possible.

God bless and have day..

always, mollie-ann

It's time.

Today turned out to be a really good day! God is so amazing. The things He is doing with myself and the people around me is awesome!

Bible Study tonight was really good. We had a big discussion about random questions people had. It worked out really well. We got quite in depth which was needed for our group. I love watching things happen under the hand of God.

I enjoy my life. I try and embrace it as much as possible and take in as much as i can get out of it. I have a great life waiting for me.

Dennis said something tonight at bible study that got me thinking.......but of course as i try and type it i forgot what i was going to say..i got side tracked with a song..sorry

Tonight I decided I am done with pot for good. If I have Faith in God which I say and know I do then I can do it..I know I can with Him. I am going to from this point on I am finished with smoking pot..There are better ways to deal with things than to go and smoke my face off.

Well that about all for right now. Thought I would give you all a break and try and keep it shorter this time.

Well good night and God bless

Always, mollie-ann

when bordom strikes

so obviously yesterday was not a good day. what could have gone wrong last night pretty much went wrong last night..but other than the fact it really bothered me inside i didn't show it which is a good thing because i tend to make it known when I'm grouchy. i still kinda feel the same way today because i dont have to be at youth for like another 6 and a half hours which totally sucks the big one! I'm not sure what i am going to do today yet. when i think about it there not much to do..i could clean my room but..meh totally not down for that..

i don't work today do that wont kill no time..i have slept all that i possible can for today..every ones pretty much at school or at work which sucks because i cant even go chill with some friends..hmm..what to do today..what to do..

i still havent smoked any pot since Tuesday which is the longest i have gone in a long time..i went 23 days before..like 4 years ago or something like that..it was a bet but i on the 23rd day i blew it and had a hoot..just think about it makes me wonder how my life would have turned out if i had quit smoking pot that day..actually its really got me thinking..would i be a Christian today if i hadn't smoked weed? I'm not even going to go there right now on here..

i am dying with bordom..that would suck to die like that..just be so friggin bored that eventually you just die..that's messed..

i really miss my friend Kyle..he has been gone for just over a week now but it seems longer than that for me..Prolly seems less for him..he really is a great guy..i love that he believes in God and that even know he is struggling right now with somethings he is not giving up..such an inspiration to me..he is one person i definitely know i will know for life..stay cool Mr.Jeffery!

well i don't really have anything else to say being as theres nothing going on to talk about so i will end it here..have a good day!

always, mollie-ann

stupid juice jug

i had a crummy sleep..crummy dreams all night..i woke up and felt crummy..i looked outside and its crummy out there..when i looked in the mirror i have crummy bags under my eyes..so of course its turning into a very crummy day..

Usually i have something i want to talk about but not today because i cant even get my thoughts organized today. I am getting bored with my life right now. Something needs to happen..something needs to change..see for me if things are not changing i get bored. Today is day two of being couped up ALONE in my room on this God forsaken computer, in this God forsaken house..i am very bitter today and I'm not sure why. Maybe its because I'm alone, or because some of my "so called friends" aren't being friends at all. Well they are i just expect too much from them.

The thing that flipped the switch today was the frikkin juice jug. Every time she finishes the juice she leaves the empty jug in the damn fridge. Okay i can understand if someone drinks all the juice and doesn't make More..that's fine.. BUT TAKE THE DAMN JUG OUT OF THE FRIDGE so the next person knows to make more..it was find the first 10 times but common the counter is like 3 feet away from the fridge..its not that hard..MAN

I am struggling with the hardest thing i have ever attempted to do..quitting smoking pot..seriously its frikkin ridiculous..i quit doing coke and i thought that was hard..then i quit smoking and i thought that was hard but compared to this those things were nothing and i mean it..all i ever think about is pot..when i don't have it i get bitchy..i didn't smoke pot yesterday and i have not yet today and i don't think i will because i have to leave for work in 45 minuets then after work I'm coming straight home..the real test is going to be after that because i don't work for 5 frikkin days..what am i going to do with myself..i have no clue but what i do know is that i am not anticipating it but whatever happens will happen..oh and did i mention that with the not smoking pot i have 0 appatite..none at all..i made KD so i could eat before work becasue i have not eaten anything yet today, i had one bite and was discusted by food..


my room is mess I'm broke and right now i just don't give a shiet about much..i don't even wanna write no more right now.


~ mollie-ann


and to top it all of u just missed my FUCKING bus for work..now my grandpa has to come a drive me..i know i shouldnt say it but what else can go wrong today

a feeling for a day

Why are feelings so strong? If you think about it everything is based on our emotions.

Today i am having a sad/lonely day. I have been having a lot of these lately. I realised that i am addicted to socialization. I hate being alone. I never know what to do with myself. I do think it is good to be alone sometimes but i never am and when i have to be i hate it!

I think I am so sad because some people who mean a lot to me are not as in touch as i wish we were.

Kyle moved back home to Nova Scotia. I miss him tons! I really wish he would have stayed. I cant wait until he comes back in April for a visit!

One friend whom i was inseparable with, i don't really get to see much anymore which makes me sad too. We use to spend like everyday together, even if we never really did anything. I loved it. And i miss her so much! People don't even know the times i has this summer. They wouldn't even understand. its a you would have had to be there type of thing. Best summer of my life.

Kali is away in Australia. Man God is doing great things with her life. Teaching her things giving her experiences she could only have out there. Giving her new views of life. I anticipate her return home a lot!

Terrin is finished interning at the church. She went back to graduate from CPC
(Central Pentecostal College). It is so awesome shes finishing college. We sure do miss having her at nexus. I miss having her around as well. Gaming it and man i miss our talks. Man one thing i miss is debating with her. She was always right..no matter what. Yup i sure do miss the times we shared.

I tried to leave my self you know. I was going to move to Alberta with my auntie. I was really excited about it too. It would ave been such an amazing experience. I mean i spent every summer up there until i was 15, but living there would have been amazing. I would have lived in a small town so i wouldn't get myself into any trouble. I probably would have spent a lot of time on the Argo (its like a quad but it has 6 wheels) My auntie is the coolest too, both of them actually. All my life i always wondered when it would be that i was going to move up there. I gave up my chance. After i verbalized to people that i was going to leave it got harder and harder to do it. People really didn't want me to go. Some even cried, which really made me sad. In the end i made the decision i always do and do what people want me to do.

Do i regret not moving there? No not really. Does it hurt not to move there? Yea it does actually. But i am needed where i am. Everyone tells me that. Everyone tells me they love me and that they are here for me. People tell me I'm a leader and i know in my heart i am. I guess I'm just a fighter. I never give up. Some days i say i will and feel like i will but i never do. I always just usually do what I'm told.

Today I'm lonely, yes that is true but another day will come and so will more feelings..who knows how i will be feeling tomorrow..only God

Sometimes I'm still not sure if i passed the test or not though..i guess ill never know.

always Mollie-Ann

content..finally

I really love Gods will with my life and the things He is doing with me. I mean like, not only the things i am doing for others but the things i am beginning to learn about myself. I am learning how to apply the gifts that God has given me in everyday life, as well as my spiritual life. Things have been happening around me that just excites me.

Latley I have been fixated on change. the good, the bad, the unrealized and the planned.
People are so scared of change that really it makes me laugh..things change everyday..every second..nothing is ever the same. I think people fear it becasue they dont know whats to come..but really when you think about it, when change does happen you just kind of deal with it..well becasue you have to.

I am really thankful of my life and how blessed i am with friends and family and people who love me for who i am not what people want me to be. People like me for me. And i accept that.

So in the next 6 months i am going to set some goals for myself(no particular order except for1)

1. quit smoking marijuana completly
2. become more dedicated to my relationship with God
3. form a solid foundation with my small group and work from there
4. find a new job
5. do some outreach work (any takers)
6. start going to prayer again

Pray for me please.

take care and never stop living for Christ..if you dont live for Christ, lets talk.

always mollie-ann

even when

when the days seem to long to bare,
and the night are too short to dream,

when the stars in the sky shine at their brightest,
when the moon dances carelessly in the dark sky,

when the birds are happily singing,
and dawn rises once more,

when children cuddle,
and fathers rejoice,

when all else seems impossible,
and accomplishments soar ever more,

when in the depths of hell the evil one is plotting again,
and Jesus Christ keeps you safe from harm,

know that even when it seems that all else has failed and there is no point in going on you are never alone,
nor am i, for i know that we are in each others hearts especially when so far apart.

change will never cease..thank God!

my life is changing..yet again..i am beginning to really open up and learn who i really am..i am beginning to understand myself and i think that this is so important in my relationship with God..this week has been a pretty good week..a healthy one..on terrins last night with us here in winnipeg before she went back to Verden i said to Shawna.."shawna i look out there and i am nothing like anyone out there..i dont belong with them"..this past Sunday was vision night..after it was done i went on stage and i said to her.."you know shawna i am exactly like everyone one of them out there"..she said that she could have told me that but only i could figure that out for myself..and you know what that is so true..no one can for knowledge on anyone..they have to experience it for themselves.....when i first became a Christian i was so excited about God that i just wanted everyone to know..i went about it the wrong way too.. like completly..for example..one of my friends who mean very much to me is not a follower of God..but i wanted him to..it was like i tried pushing God on him and that was not fair to God or to my friend..by doing this i lost a friend..i now know that i am never going to be able to force anyone to be a Christian nor do i want to..i just want to lead by example..people know me and how i use to be..they are not stupid..when i said that i was just like everone else at my church i ment it like this: these people..all they are trying to do is live their lives the best they know how to under our Father..i saw past the labels and realised that they are all just real people..just like me..trying to be good and faithful servents..some more so than others..but nevertheless i am just like them..i am really beginning to see the changes in myself..the way i think..the way i act..i have lernt that my biggest down fall is my pride..i need to work on that..and many other things but as a Christian i know that with Jesus by my side everything is going to be okay..i learn new things everyday..and everyday i look forward to the next..

i want to keep writing more but someonthing telling me to stop here..maybe its God maybe its becasue its late and i have to work tomorrow..but i think i will listen to it..good night!

always mo

lost my grip

i feel like i am falling..my relationship with Christ is thinning out..weakening..Hes not but i am..i don't know why..its like i am just waiting for something to happen..things have changed so much in the past month its kinda scary!..things are also moving so fast that i feel like i cant even catch my breath..figuratively speaking of course..i am finding the the people who are surrounding me are the ones i have been trying to get my self away from..i don't mean people but i mean the type of people..i find myself hanging out at parties and devoting my life towards the wrong things..the wrong people..i am beginning to doubt my ability to walk through the gates of heaven if i die today..i am failing Him right before His eyes..and it is so shameful..someone said to me that if i am acting the way i am then they don't see me as a Christian..you know what the fucked up thing is..I'm starting to not see me as a Christian either..i feel like i am falling just dropping off into nothing..like falling through the sky but when i envision it everything is dark..empty..cold..and no matter how hard i try there is nothing to grab hold of..nothing or no one to grab when before i hit the bottom of the pit..kinda like i lost my grip on life


..mo

New Years resolution..

A couple of years back i made a new years resolution to never make a new years resolution again..it was going quite well too..

this year i decided to break that resolution and make one..

i have decided that this year my resolution should be one thing and one thing only..

so my new years resolution is that i am going to do my best..for Jesus..to quit smoking pot..there a re a lot of people who don't want me to smoke it, and taking into consideration what happened last night this is the best thing for me to do..

this is going to be very difficult for me i think..i have smoked it for 8 years..now i i quit smoking and have not had a single drag of a cigarette for three months 1 week and 2 days which is pretty darn good if you ask me..

last night i got thinking and i realised that people know me as a pot head..they know me as the chick who can puff forever..if i smoke pot i am not going to hold it against myself but i am going to take this giant step in some broken down smaller steps..like cuttin down to a gram a day..that's good considering i smoke up to 7 a day which is not so good for me or my relationship with God..

i am going through so much changes in life..i am living on my own..i work..going back to school..Church..my life is so different from back then..everything takes time..

so there it is..the puffin champ of peg city..on the road to retirement..

well peace out homies


P.s TERRIN..HOMIE..hope your life is all good