The following is 2 lives in my opinion..2 ways of living explained from my experiences..if you disagree or agree with anything written here please feel free to leave a comment! enjoy.
Life numba 1: Living the street life is complicated..there are rules and unspoken laws that you are expected to live by..living the street life is makin choices then and there not worring about what the consequences may be..having your crew back no matta what happens..even if its your friends on the other side of the line you gotta have your crews back..parting and doing drugs..staying out until all hours of the night not caring whats suppose to be happening tomorrow..always getting in trouble and bitched at by whoever..do what you want, say what you wana, be what you want.. when you live the street life you live by different morals and rules..a different look upon life and what the view is..now beef is a whole different story..if you want beef then beef is what your gona get..you cant call someone out and expect shit not to pop off..and when it does its crew against crew..never one on one..living the gangsta life is constantly watchin the scene..knowing whats going down..and whats not..its having a crew but not a family..always on tha grind..that just the gist of it..like i said livin the street life is complicated if you never lived it..
Life numba 2: Living the Christian life is so different..change is like the biggest factor when converting..if you love how things are and you dont want nothing to change then stay the same way..but i you want to get into the Holy city then you have to earn it..in a way its like the street life because its complicating..but either way you have to make a choice..living the Christian life has its advantages and its disadvantages..lets start with the disadvantages: well you cant do what you want anymore..you could but not with out consequence..things in life are going to get harder because you have to make the decision to do the right thing..your old friends are going to drift away from you..people are going to look at you in a different way..you are going to find yourself trying to figure things out on you own more now than ever(but don't because you need Him)..you constantly question things that are brought to you attention..to figure them out you are going to have to ask someone to help you..sometimes you may not agree with the truth but you have to because if it is written then have to obey it..advantages of being a Christian are(in no particular order): you have eternal life..and no matter what God is always there for you if you need him to be..being filled with the Holy spirit is the most amazing thing you could ever experience..knowing that you have a purpose..you learn how to do thing the way they were meant to be done.. people say "well how am i suppose to know weather or not what i am doing with my life is right or not"..you'll learn how to live and if you have a hard time learning someone will be there to help you..praying is all you have to do to have a conversation with God whenever you want..you know i was a really messed up person before i cam to Christ..i was lost and alone..trying to figure out life on my own which ended with me in rehab and a loss of a lot of people who i thought were my friends..i lost contact with family..i looked like i was the living dead..i went buy how i wanted to live rather than how i should have been living..you know what one of the best things about being a Christian is..being happy, having real friend who love you and care about what happens to you..knowing that someone is always happy to see you..and someone is concerned to see you sad..learning the truth about life..and actually trying to do right..but the absolute best thing..God loves you!
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
just becasue you cant see Him doesnt mean He's not there
you know people think just because we are Christian that life is easy, that we never have problems. they think that we don't understand what its like to be in their shoes..being a Christian is harder than being a gang member..its harder than being a goth..people who have not been converted have it easy..but with things being easy you get the short end of the straw..you guys can do what ever you want..party, lie, steel and if you don't get caught then nothing happens..but when you are a follower of Christ you have to make the decision to do what is right..you have to fight the temptations..if you don't and you give in to the temptation you are disobeying God and feeding Satan..sure its easy just to say whatever I'm going to hell anyway..but do you really want to go there? do you really want to spend all of eternity in death? i know i don't..but then you say what if there is no God, well why don't you look on the positive side of things..what if there is a God and you chose not to believe are you really willing to risk that much just because you cant see them..at church on Sunday Pastor Alan told a story of a boy who had to jump off a roof into his daddy's arms when he couldn't see him, but he had faith in his daddy and he jumped..that's the same things as God you may not be able to see Him but it doesn't mean that he is not there..now I'm not perfect..i got through battles with Satan everyday..he doesn't want me to live for my Father..he wants me to sin and go to hell he wants me to disobey Him..God works in mysterious ways..i know he is doing things in my life right now but even as they are happening i am denying them..the biggest problem i am having right now is prayer..but i wont get into that one right now..what I'm trying to say is that a life of a Christian is not "easier" in fact its much harder..but its what i want and when i want something i am willing to go the distance..if i don't understand something, or don't agree with it i will argue with Terrin until there is nothing more i can try to say to deny it..but in the end i understand..but what i don't understand is how some people can just ignore the fact that He is real..
God bless all who read this blog..open their hearts and help them to see and hear the truth!
God bless all who read this blog..open their hearts and help them to see and hear the truth!
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
random, weird, intersting, scary..my thoughts
man today totally didn't go well for me..like i accomplished something but others just totally went blah!!the best part of my day was getting to see a friend i haven't seen for a while..it really made me feel better..i moved a couple of boxes to my new place but man i so don't want to move..i love living here with my grandpa so much..i am worried about him too, i think he might be sick but i am not sure..i don't want to ask him because it just doesn't happen that way with him..my grandpa is a full Icelander..he is set in his ways..he will give you the shirt off his back..but he will also kick you ass if you deserve it..man he has helped me out so much with moving out and finding a place to live..he has been so patient with the process..i love him so much!!..as for the move i guess we will just have to see how things work out..
you know what5 i cant stand..that no one speaks their mind..if something bothers them they don't say nothing which i think is frickin stupid..how the heck are people suppose to know that they are doing something to bother you if you don't say nothing about it..now i am just as bad because if someone is doing something i don't particularly like then i just deal with it..i don't bother to tell them because i just think i am being polite but what it the point if it makes you miserable..you know what i mean? for instance..if you don't want to do something they be straight up and tell them that you don't want to..don't do it just to please them..i only know one person who is straight up and tells things how they need to be told..and she doesn't like that she is like that..but let me tell you one thing if the world was a bit more like my friend and actually communicated when they have an issue then shiet would get so fricked up all the time..people would be put into a position that they don't want to be in..i have a big problem with this because i am a major people pleaser..i love o help out but on the other hand i get so played out sometimes..
my mind is in a million places today..i cant even concentrate with my own thought..i keep jumping from thought to thought to thought..and it is driving me crazee..i want to talk about one thing in my blog then another comes up then another and it like holy man i can only talk about one things at a time here..okay that's not so bad right just type the next subject after this one right..wrong..i always forget things..i swear i am getting stupider by the day..sometimes i feel like i am a dummy because i forget how to spell simple things..there have been at least 5 things i wanted to talk about in like the last 10 minuets but do you think i could remember them? no that would make things way too easy..
you know bible college is really starting to sound better every day..i checked up some stuff online about it the other night and i think i would really like it..i want to know everything i can about Christianity..and Theology..every time i hear something about it i get so interested about it..i wish i could answer peoples question when they ask me something about being a Christian or about God..take my buddy terrin..i could pretty much ask her anything and i am pretty sure she would be able to answer it.if not she would be able to give me a bible verse or a website that would be able to answer my questions..i wish i could do that..like i said i want to know everything i can about God and Jesus..
i remember when i thought i knew what i was going to do with my life..i was going to be a drama teacher and maybe an actress one day..well that not really my passion no more..you see my problem is that i never really stick to anything for long..i always go though fases..but i don't think this is just a fase..i mean i don't want it to be and if i don't want it to be then it wont be..
sometimes i think that one day i am just going to go berserk..i hold every little thing in and it drives me nuts..i have things that i wish i could tell people but i would never tell them..(no terrin you don't know these ones)..i think that one day i am just going to go off the edge..my head isn't "all there" sometimes..i start thinking stupid and i hate it..i have an extremely active imagination and honestly it scares me sometimes..sometime si dont know what i can do..to what extent i may go..that is another reason i dont let things out is because i usually tend to go to the extreme..i don't want things to go wrong or piss off a friend because they take it personal..i am just one fucked up chick..sometimes i wonder how even God can love me..i dont really talk about shiet like this to people..well honestly would they really understand and look at me the same way..prolly not..they would prolly try to admit me into the Selkirk Mental Institution..and if they get a hold of me in there..i feel sorry for them..LOL!!..no but on the for real..i don't really think anyone actually understand me which kinda sucks..well i know one person does but she ain't always around..actually we don't talk much no more..well i am sure i have scared you away so far by now you are not even reading this no more..for those of you who are..thanks for listening!! i appreciate it..
until next time..God bless!
you know what5 i cant stand..that no one speaks their mind..if something bothers them they don't say nothing which i think is frickin stupid..how the heck are people suppose to know that they are doing something to bother you if you don't say nothing about it..now i am just as bad because if someone is doing something i don't particularly like then i just deal with it..i don't bother to tell them because i just think i am being polite but what it the point if it makes you miserable..you know what i mean? for instance..if you don't want to do something they be straight up and tell them that you don't want to..don't do it just to please them..i only know one person who is straight up and tells things how they need to be told..and she doesn't like that she is like that..but let me tell you one thing if the world was a bit more like my friend and actually communicated when they have an issue then shiet would get so fricked up all the time..people would be put into a position that they don't want to be in..i have a big problem with this because i am a major people pleaser..i love o help out but on the other hand i get so played out sometimes..
my mind is in a million places today..i cant even concentrate with my own thought..i keep jumping from thought to thought to thought..and it is driving me crazee..i want to talk about one thing in my blog then another comes up then another and it like holy man i can only talk about one things at a time here..okay that's not so bad right just type the next subject after this one right..wrong..i always forget things..i swear i am getting stupider by the day..sometimes i feel like i am a dummy because i forget how to spell simple things..there have been at least 5 things i wanted to talk about in like the last 10 minuets but do you think i could remember them? no that would make things way too easy..
you know bible college is really starting to sound better every day..i checked up some stuff online about it the other night and i think i would really like it..i want to know everything i can about Christianity..and Theology..every time i hear something about it i get so interested about it..i wish i could answer peoples question when they ask me something about being a Christian or about God..take my buddy terrin..i could pretty much ask her anything and i am pretty sure she would be able to answer it.if not she would be able to give me a bible verse or a website that would be able to answer my questions..i wish i could do that..like i said i want to know everything i can about God and Jesus..
i remember when i thought i knew what i was going to do with my life..i was going to be a drama teacher and maybe an actress one day..well that not really my passion no more..you see my problem is that i never really stick to anything for long..i always go though fases..but i don't think this is just a fase..i mean i don't want it to be and if i don't want it to be then it wont be..
sometimes i think that one day i am just going to go berserk..i hold every little thing in and it drives me nuts..i have things that i wish i could tell people but i would never tell them..(no terrin you don't know these ones)..i think that one day i am just going to go off the edge..my head isn't "all there" sometimes..i start thinking stupid and i hate it..i have an extremely active imagination and honestly it scares me sometimes..sometime si dont know what i can do..to what extent i may go..that is another reason i dont let things out is because i usually tend to go to the extreme..i don't want things to go wrong or piss off a friend because they take it personal..i am just one fucked up chick..sometimes i wonder how even God can love me..i dont really talk about shiet like this to people..well honestly would they really understand and look at me the same way..prolly not..they would prolly try to admit me into the Selkirk Mental Institution..and if they get a hold of me in there..i feel sorry for them..LOL!!..no but on the for real..i don't really think anyone actually understand me which kinda sucks..well i know one person does but she ain't always around..actually we don't talk much no more..well i am sure i have scared you away so far by now you are not even reading this no more..for those of you who are..thanks for listening!! i appreciate it..
until next time..God bless!
Saturday, October 21, 2006
the hardest thing about being a Christian
you know the hardest think about being a Christian is not having to make sacrifices..and its not having to change allot..its not having to realise that what you are doing is a sin..its not about worrying whether or not He is going to know you when you get to the gates..its not about being looked down upon because i believe....
no the hardest thing about being a Christian..i think..is looking around and realizing that people who you love are not going to make it in..knowing that they are not going to be there with you in the end..trying to understand why they just wont hear the Truth..the facts are there in the Word..
i guess what it comes down to is what road are you going to take..and if you don't believe then thats your choice..but..what if what the Word..the Bible.. says is true..are you really willing to risk spending all of eternity in hell for something so..true.. really..i know i am going to walk through the gates on judgement day..but what i don't want is for you to be left behind..denied at the gates because you didn't believe..because you had no faith..the hardest thing about being a Christian is knowing what at the end of both paths and not be able do nothing on the day.
no the hardest thing about being a Christian..i think..is looking around and realizing that people who you love are not going to make it in..knowing that they are not going to be there with you in the end..trying to understand why they just wont hear the Truth..the facts are there in the Word..
i guess what it comes down to is what road are you going to take..and if you don't believe then thats your choice..but..what if what the Word..the Bible.. says is true..are you really willing to risk spending all of eternity in hell for something so..true.. really..i know i am going to walk through the gates on judgement day..but what i don't want is for you to be left behind..denied at the gates because you didn't believe..because you had no faith..the hardest thing about being a Christian is knowing what at the end of both paths and not be able do nothing on the day.
Friday, October 20, 2006
not today but tomorrow and forever too
he sits then and i watch him..when he speaks of it i can see the pain in his eyes..the hurt in his heart..a man is sick today..not today but tomorrow and forever too..he doesn't let anyone know it bothers him but i know..i can see it..i can feel it when i talk with him..when i sit with him..when i hug him i can feel him slowly wasting away..this is a man who can handle his own..and what you get yourself into..he can talk his way out of anything or he can fight his way out..the choice is yours to make..if you needed he would give the shirt off his back..if you needed it it he would kick your butt..i watch and listen to him as he can make a joke about anything..all day and all night..it never stops..i could have the worst day ever and go there and he would make sure i am okay before i step foot out that door..he talk's about life and what he knows..he knows a lot..more than others..but he is real not like most people you see who talk their crud all the time and act like they know what its like..he has been there he knows up from down..this man has kids..a girlfriend..and many many people around him who love him so much..as we sit and talk i see the joy in his life and i see the pain..we talk about our Lord..and that He is good and that we should praise Him for He is our Savior Jesus Christ..i listen to his words with great understanding for fear that tomorrow they might not be there..i love this man..this wise man..triumphant is the day he walks through the gates..a noble man..a brother in Christ awaiting the day..
Thursday, October 19, 2006
busy busy busy..and a new cell phone
So my job at Home Depot is amazing..the people i work with are all awesome! The hours i am getting are awesome..i am no longer "in training" which is awesome..and i also went school with like 3 of the other cashiers which is also pretty awesome..i love working there..i have been working a lot, man is my first check going to be awesome! i am going to go and buy a couple pairs of jeans and some shirt for work..i am also going to buy a new pair of steel toe's..i just got a $150.00 part of steel toe converse boots but i saw this pair of steel toe Dickies..and i want them..i am also going to go and get a cell phone so for all of those who hate that you can never get ahold of me..hate no longer..within a week or two i am going to have a cell..finally! Terrin is goi
ng to come phone shopping with me but i think i have a phone in mind..its the LG 325 its a slider style phone..which works for me because i have the solid phones but i also hate flip phones..i am a very picky person when it comes th phones..but i think this one just might be the one for me..its nice and small and i dont even have to slide it open to answer it..i cant just press talk..or if i want to i can slide it open to answer it..either way is goo for me..i have herd in the past that LG is a good phone to have but last nght terrin said that she herd in that LG was a good phone as well..so as i am typing i am definatly thinking that this is going to be the phone that i want to get!! but i am not set on it if i find a better phone with better plan deals then i think i am going to have to take the better offer!!
So the Franklin Graham Festival is coming up with weekend and i am totally excited about it..even though i cant make it to the concert i have been waiting for..Casting Crowns..you see i have to work sunday night so i wont be able to make it there but i think that because God is telling me to rethink the reason about the event..the only reason i was excited about sunday is because they were going to be there but i should have been looking more at eh poeple who i should be trying to get there and the counseling i am going to be doing but i wasnt..so i think this is His way of telling me i better get my stuff straight..i haven't moved out yet..i have been working like crazee and just havent had any time..but i think i should be moved into my new place by next week..i HOPE..i cant wait until sunday morning..i missed church last week because i had orientation..which really sucked because i really look forward to the sunday services..as well as youth..i cant wait until we have a regular youth night..i had an amazing time at the gym riot but i missed the worship part of things..but it will be good..i think the next home youth is on October the 27th..
My sister got into college!!man i am so happy for her..my sister is like the best person i know..she would give me the shirt off my back if i needed it..we dont talk so much latley which really sucks but i still love her so much..when i get some time i am going to go and visit her..i dont think work tomorrow so i think i might be able to go and see her then..actually i dont think i work til sunday after today..but im not sure i have to check my schedule..man i love that i work..one thing i miss the most about working is sleeping!!man i love to sleep and let me tell you i am great at it..last night i slep for like 14 or 15 hours..i could have easily slept longer but the phone rang and woke me up..so i lay there debating wether or not i should get out of bed and decided it was a good idea concidering it was alread like 1:30 an i went to bed at 10:00pm..but i am well rested now..if i didnt have ot go to work tonight i could go back to sleep for another few hours..i have to take the bus home from work tonight which sucks because the 77 doesnt run that late :S so i am going to have to figure something out..maybe my grandpa will pick me up..well i better get going i have to go for a shower and clean my room up a bit..actually i should start packing..i have only packed up the stuff here in my office..which isnt really that much considering my computer is still set up along with my phone and speakers..well until next time..peace out yo..catch ya on tha flip side
ng to come phone shopping with me but i think i have a phone in mind..its the LG 325 its a slider style phone..which works for me because i have the solid phones but i also hate flip phones..i am a very picky person when it comes th phones..but i think this one just might be the one for me..its nice and small and i dont even have to slide it open to answer it..i cant just press talk..or if i want to i can slide it open to answer it..either way is goo for me..i have herd in the past that LG is a good phone to have but last nght terrin said that she herd in that LG was a good phone as well..so as i am typing i am definatly thinking that this is going to be the phone that i want to get!! but i am not set on it if i find a better phone with better plan deals then i think i am going to have to take the better offer!!So the Franklin Graham Festival is coming up with weekend and i am totally excited about it..even though i cant make it to the concert i have been waiting for..Casting Crowns..you see i have to work sunday night so i wont be able to make it there but i think that because God is telling me to rethink the reason about the event..the only reason i was excited about sunday is because they were going to be there but i should have been looking more at eh poeple who i should be trying to get there and the counseling i am going to be doing but i wasnt..so i think this is His way of telling me i better get my stuff straight..i haven't moved out yet..i have been working like crazee and just havent had any time..but i think i should be moved into my new place by next week..i HOPE..i cant wait until sunday morning..i missed church last week because i had orientation..which really sucked because i really look forward to the sunday services..as well as youth..i cant wait until we have a regular youth night..i had an amazing time at the gym riot but i missed the worship part of things..but it will be good..i think the next home youth is on October the 27th..
My sister got into college!!man i am so happy for her..my sister is like the best person i know..she would give me the shirt off my back if i needed it..we dont talk so much latley which really sucks but i still love her so much..when i get some time i am going to go and visit her..i dont think work tomorrow so i think i might be able to go and see her then..actually i dont think i work til sunday after today..but im not sure i have to check my schedule..man i love that i work..one thing i miss the most about working is sleeping!!man i love to sleep and let me tell you i am great at it..last night i slep for like 14 or 15 hours..i could have easily slept longer but the phone rang and woke me up..so i lay there debating wether or not i should get out of bed and decided it was a good idea concidering it was alread like 1:30 an i went to bed at 10:00pm..but i am well rested now..if i didnt have ot go to work tonight i could go back to sleep for another few hours..i have to take the bus home from work tonight which sucks because the 77 doesnt run that late :S so i am going to have to figure something out..maybe my grandpa will pick me up..well i better get going i have to go for a shower and clean my room up a bit..actually i should start packing..i have only packed up the stuff here in my office..which isnt really that much considering my computer is still set up along with my phone and speakers..well until next time..peace out yo..catch ya on tha flip side
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
understand the truth
you know this world is messed up..check this out..apparently the high school i went to is getting metal detectors..wut tha man since when does the need for metal detectors come in..i guess since there were guns there..people are..poeple need Jesus..seriously with God all things are possible..you know i dont want to sound like i am perfect becasue Lord knows im far from it..but He is..you know if people could just understand..thats what its about..not understanding..the pharisees and the Sadducee's didnt believe becasue they didnt understand..Jesus spoke in parables and because of this even His own disciples didnt understand..if we dont understand something then how could we live by it right..i understand the street..thats how i was able to live the life i did..i understood it..people who paint..they do it because they understand it..same thing with doctors and lawyers and bikers and children playing and football players..why do they do what they do..becasue they understand it..why did i become a Christian..because i began to understand the truth..then and only then was i able to begin living for Him..only then could i realise that the life i was living was the wrong one..only then did i make a choice..only then did i see change..only them did i discouver happiness..only then was the void filled..
how do you understand..just listen to the Word
how do you understand..just listen to the Word
Sunday, October 15, 2006
all we have to do is Pray
"So I tuck it all away, like everythings okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I’ll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the heart again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them " -Casting Crowns - Stained Glass Masquirade
this is so me..that exactly what i do..i tuck it all away like everything is okay..like nothing is wrong..its like if i can fool them then maybe one day it will just become true..like the saying..a lie can turn into the truth
now a lie literally cant be turned into the truth but sometimes if i lie is kept fo so long then it is like it is true..sometimes you begin to believe that its true.. anyways back to the song verse..i will act like everything is okay..i act like nothing can bother me even if something is..i am very good at hiding things..but sometimes things just aint going to well, one thing could happen..it could be anything but it could be the one thing that makes me break down..then i get all..i start questioning things and cant contain myself.
But you see I am blessed to have a friend that i can talk to about anything..if i ever did anything and needed to tell someone she would be the one i would tell..she will talk to me if i wanna talk or just chill if i wanna chill..she will yell back or just let me vent..you know its nice because she doesnt take it personally..she knows that i am just having a bad time at the moment and that i will be alright i just need some help..i dont really like asking for help because it makes me feel weak..and to me being weak is not good..even with being a Christian..i need to be strong..i need to have faith but you know what sometimes it is hard to be strong and i have a hard time with things..have a hard time making decisions or doing what God wants me to do..but every second that happens in my life is ment to happen..God has a plan for me the messed up thing is we have a choice not to listen..not to obey..the devil likes to mess with us because we are Gods children and he loves us..the only way to get to Him is through the ones He loves..we have the choice to deny the chance..I have to honor of helping protect my Father..my Creator the bottom line is i have the choice to do what i want and thats what makes it so hard..i could take the easy way out and just do whatever and not care what happend or who it effects..it hurts other people too yea, but the only person i am truly hurting is myself..i am the only who make the chances of me making it to the Holy City possibly..now that is a lot of pressure and that why we have Jesus and God..to help us on the way..he just wants us to know that for the things we Need to happen, he is there for us..to give us strength and patience, understanding and love, he gives us wisdom and serenity..all we have to do is Pray. Sometimes when i loose sight of things my friend helps me realise whats what..she is a wicked person who i dedefiantly know has a ticket into the Holy City..im working for mine..each individual is a mirror of the whole..we as Christian owe it to Him to do the right thing and show those who are lost the way..when you get to the top lift someone up..lift up a brother or sister of Christ..we need to help save them like we were helped..improve everything you touch.
God bless
If I make them all believe it, maybe I’ll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the heart again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them " -Casting Crowns - Stained Glass Masquirade
this is so me..that exactly what i do..i tuck it all away like everything is okay..like nothing is wrong..its like if i can fool them then maybe one day it will just become true..like the saying..a lie can turn into the truth
now a lie literally cant be turned into the truth but sometimes if i lie is kept fo so long then it is like it is true..sometimes you begin to believe that its true.. anyways back to the song verse..i will act like everything is okay..i act like nothing can bother me even if something is..i am very good at hiding things..but sometimes things just aint going to well, one thing could happen..it could be anything but it could be the one thing that makes me break down..then i get all..i start questioning things and cant contain myself.
But you see I am blessed to have a friend that i can talk to about anything..if i ever did anything and needed to tell someone she would be the one i would tell..she will talk to me if i wanna talk or just chill if i wanna chill..she will yell back or just let me vent..you know its nice because she doesnt take it personally..she knows that i am just having a bad time at the moment and that i will be alright i just need some help..i dont really like asking for help because it makes me feel weak..and to me being weak is not good..even with being a Christian..i need to be strong..i need to have faith but you know what sometimes it is hard to be strong and i have a hard time with things..have a hard time making decisions or doing what God wants me to do..but every second that happens in my life is ment to happen..God has a plan for me the messed up thing is we have a choice not to listen..not to obey..the devil likes to mess with us because we are Gods children and he loves us..the only way to get to Him is through the ones He loves..we have the choice to deny the chance..I have to honor of helping protect my Father..my Creator the bottom line is i have the choice to do what i want and thats what makes it so hard..i could take the easy way out and just do whatever and not care what happend or who it effects..it hurts other people too yea, but the only person i am truly hurting is myself..i am the only who make the chances of me making it to the Holy City possibly..now that is a lot of pressure and that why we have Jesus and God..to help us on the way..he just wants us to know that for the things we Need to happen, he is there for us..to give us strength and patience, understanding and love, he gives us wisdom and serenity..all we have to do is Pray. Sometimes when i loose sight of things my friend helps me realise whats what..she is a wicked person who i dedefiantly know has a ticket into the Holy City..im working for mine..each individual is a mirror of the whole..we as Christian owe it to Him to do the right thing and show those who are lost the way..when you get to the top lift someone up..lift up a brother or sister of Christ..we need to help save them like we were helped..improve everything you touch.
God bless
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Franklin Graham Festival
okay so i am completly and utterly stoked about casting crowns coming to winnipeg!!!
they are playing in the central canada festival with Franklin Gram..aka Franklin Graham Festival..it is on at the MTS center October 20-22 it is in association with the Billy Graham Evangalistic Association..the cost of the event is transportaion and some heavy jammin..and most definatly worship..in other words its free!
but honestly it is going to be AWESOME! check this out..
Every night: Tommy Coomes Band with Tommy Walker Dennis Agajanian
Friday: 7-9pm Paul Brandt and Rebecca ST. James
(the 20th)
Saturday Morning: 10:30am-12:00pm KIDS FEST 2006! skatboarding, bmx's, blading also join:Rebecca ST. James,Lesha Campbell, and Chaos on Wheels
Saturday: 6:47-9pm Tree63 and News Boys
Sunday: 4-6pm Michael W. Smith and last but Definatly not least CASTING CROWNS!!
I cant wait..everyone attending should bring a friend..i have my friend whos yours? Seriously i recomend that everyone attend!! i cant wait..i am going to be ain the choir and a counselor there..the worship there is going to be so intense! i cant wait..i am prayer the lost. But most of all i can not wait till casting crowns!!!
Hope to see ya'll there and BRING A FRIEND!!!
God Bless!
they are playing in the central canada festival with Franklin Gram..aka Franklin Graham Festival..it is on at the MTS center October 20-22 it is in association with the Billy Graham Evangalistic Association..the cost of the event is transportaion and some heavy jammin..and most definatly worship..in other words its free!
but honestly it is going to be AWESOME! check this out..
Every night: Tommy Coomes Band with Tommy Walker Dennis Agajanian
Friday: 7-9pm Paul Brandt and Rebecca ST. James
(the 20th)
Saturday Morning: 10:30am-12:00pm KIDS FEST 2006! skatboarding, bmx's, blading also join:Rebecca ST. James,Lesha Campbell, and Chaos on Wheels
Saturday: 6:47-9pm Tree63 and News Boys
Sunday: 4-6pm Michael W. Smith and last but Definatly not least CASTING CROWNS!!
I cant wait..everyone attending should bring a friend..i have my friend whos yours? Seriously i recomend that everyone attend!! i cant wait..i am going to be ain the choir and a counselor there..the worship there is going to be so intense! i cant wait..i am prayer the lost. But most of all i can not wait till casting crowns!!!
Hope to see ya'll there and BRING A FRIEND!!!
God Bless!
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
go red or go home
so..neXus youth is having a gym riot at Cecil Rhodes school on Friday October the 13 at 7:30pm (let me know if you wanna join team red) so this is getting pretty competitive well..its not so bad for me because red is going to annihilate the yellow, green and blue teams! i cant wait though even if we do lose it will be all good(which we wont) as long as we get people out to have a good time and hear some of the Word..i am recruiting quite the team..me billy and Jessica are the team captains for the red team so it should be awesome..it is also billy's 18Th birthday..but back to gym riot..bottom line is if you're not red you're dead!
let his will be done
my favorite time of year is autumn for two reasons..the first is because of all the beautiful colors and the smell in the air..the second it that it bring with it the start of snow! and if you havent noticed its SNOWING!!!
so i went to tec voc today to hang out and see how people are doing, you know i gotta pop in once in a while..i did go there for 4 years..everything going iight..guym riot is coming up quick so i talked to some people..did some recruitin..if everyone shows up we are going to have a phat team..and thats on tha fo real..a lota weston people..i cant wait..its gettin intense..i cant wait till friday so we can sho how we do..i am one of three captain on the RED team..just want to make sure ya'll know WE COMIN..and we ready!
so me and a friend of mind are not realy talking..boy let me tell you it sucks..you know the friedns i got now are real friend yo..they got your back..you down they care..what good is you know that someone loves you and worries wethere or not you know what i mean..but the friends i have now they aint really my friends..they more like my family..they my brothers and sisters of Christ..workin side by side recruitin for our Lord..but when something changes and things aint so good between someone it aint cool..it hurts..especially when you hurt one of those friends..wel i messed up and i hurt someone a lot..i am sorry..they know that..i told them..i jus thope they can forgive me..becasue i am just trying to do good..i am trying to do the right thing..but sometimes by doing the right thing people get hurt..unfortunatly..well i will just pray about it and let Gods will be done not mine..God bless you my friend.
tonight is kids club..i have fun with the little kids..they make me laugh..it is until 8:15 maybe i will blog again later..maybe not.
so i went to tec voc today to hang out and see how people are doing, you know i gotta pop in once in a while..i did go there for 4 years..everything going iight..guym riot is coming up quick so i talked to some people..did some recruitin..if everyone shows up we are going to have a phat team..and thats on tha fo real..a lota weston people..i cant wait..its gettin intense..i cant wait till friday so we can sho how we do..i am one of three captain on the RED team..just want to make sure ya'll know WE COMIN..and we ready!
so me and a friend of mind are not realy talking..boy let me tell you it sucks..you know the friedns i got now are real friend yo..they got your back..you down they care..what good is you know that someone loves you and worries wethere or not you know what i mean..but the friends i have now they aint really my friends..they more like my family..they my brothers and sisters of Christ..workin side by side recruitin for our Lord..but when something changes and things aint so good between someone it aint cool..it hurts..especially when you hurt one of those friends..wel i messed up and i hurt someone a lot..i am sorry..they know that..i told them..i jus thope they can forgive me..becasue i am just trying to do good..i am trying to do the right thing..but sometimes by doing the right thing people get hurt..unfortunatly..well i will just pray about it and let Gods will be done not mine..God bless you my friend.
tonight is kids club..i have fun with the little kids..they make me laugh..it is until 8:15 maybe i will blog again later..maybe not.
still waiting
okay so last sunday(9 days ago) shawna too me to Rona to apply for a job..well it didnt really go as planned..you could tell right off the hop that he wasnt relly interested he would even look me in the eye..so i was bummed out..so we went to home depot and i filled out an application and i asked to speak witht a manager..it went good..i got a call to set up an interview before i even got home half hour later..the interview went prety good..but they still dont know whats up..like they havent made and decisions so it kinda sucks you know what i mean..i have called there a couple of times to find out whats going on..you know if they made any decisions and to let them know i am interested..cuz boy i am interested in this job! i just cant stand the waiting period though..its like am i going to go the job am i not..are they just messing around with me..are they serious about about..i dont knwo and i dont like that i dont know..but whatever right, i know that God knows what he has in store for me..he knows what he is doing and i trust that..i guess i will just have to wait for that phone to ring..i just hope its soon! For now i am going to head over to tec voc..i have some recruiting to go and do!
Monday, October 09, 2006
work harder!
what is the deal with people thses days..you never really know who you know..if you know what i mean..poeple always put on their roll to impress people..it get s so sikning sometimes..why cant poeple jsut be who they are..why do people have to be ashamed or afraid to show their true colors..i mean there is a time and a place for everything like if you are going to bring out the child in you in the middle of a confrence then maybe that might not be such a good idea..but you know what bothers me the most is when people dont act themselves becasue of what other poeple might think..dont get em wrong i do the same thing at times..but why do people do it, do they do it to try to impress other people or do they do it to try and hide from people..there are people out there whosay things but they never come through..or people who say things but it will only be to certain people..why do you think that is..personaly i think that people act the way they do becasue they are scared of what people might think..but why do we care..okay yea they see the outsisde, but they dont see what they should see..the real us..why would we care if they dont like us on the outside..our appearence really has nothing to do with it in my opinion..if onyl people could what is in our heart by looking..well it is posible..i think that our eyes tell the story..you cant tell a lot by looking in someones eyes..you can tell weather someone is lost or hurt..im not sure where i am goi ng with this right now..i am just getting stuff off my mind..i just cant stand when people are asked to keep secreats or when people talk shiet about other people and then get mad at you if you tell them whta you said..like wtf..why do epople gotta talk shiet anyway? what does it prove..not even taling shiet about tother people but just talkin crap about anything..like saying you know this and you know that but you cant back it up..or how about when people say im there..but they aint..i cant stand it..the world we live in is so flippin messed up it makes me sick sometimes..and why does it seem like EVERYONE is doing drugs..i will be honest with you i use to be a druggie..i partied from friday night till tuesday morning sometimes..i was a punk ass drug addict who thought she could make it..fuck that man i got my but outta that situation..i got myself cleaned up and started to base my appearence and the way i act to the things i feel on the inside..everytime i hear that another one of my friend turned to cocaine it makes me sick to my stomach..the messed up thing is when i talk to them about it they get mad at me as if i dont know where they going..i was there..i did it all there aint nothing you can tell me about coke that i dont know i loved it..i lived off of it..why are these people willing to slowly committ suicide??? i look at myself now and i see a world of difference..i am a christian now..i live by my morals once again..say please and thank you..give help when it is needed..i live for my savior..i do my besyt to do what is right..i dont always succeed but atleast i try..imaging how life would be if everyone just tried a little..what hurts me the most is watching people i love drift farther and farther away from God..it is my duty to try and lead them to our Lord..but its hard..so i just have to work harder
Sunday, October 08, 2006
good morning..yea right
i am 19 years old and treated like an outcasted child someitimes..i hate it..i cant do anything without it being wrong..i opened the new jar of peanut butter before the old one was finished..i am really picky with something and i dont like no name peanut butter..so i opened the new smooth one..why do old people get so grouchy..why do they have to take it out on other people for? Thses past couple months have been emotionally confusing for me..there are a lot of things that i have to think about but i dont want to so i usually just try not to think about them and hope that nothing bad comes from it..when i get b****ed at i usually just sit there and listen becasue i feel like i am minority to the person yelling..even if i have something to say i wont say anything..part of this is becasue i have an anger problem and sometimes i dont know whow to controll my words..i love to yell and argue..but not so much anymore..i want to be a good christian but there are just so many things trying to convince me otherwise..the biggest war on earth is the war between good and evil..i am trying in my own life to win the battle..joining His army i sjust as tuff..sometimes i just wish i werent me..but then again if i werent me i would know the people i know or know how to do the things i can..i would have the friends i do or the life im starting..but i guess ill just deal with it..hope everything works out right.
Saturday, October 07, 2006
completly different world
Hey hows it going..i made one of these before but i forgot to write done the info i used to sign in..duh!
Lately i have been thinking of making another one but then at times i think that it will be a waste because i will never use it..but more and more each day i need it..i need a way to get things off my mind because let me tell you if i don't get it off my mind then it ain't going no where.. sometimes i think that i am going to go crazy because of the things that i have to think about..things that i don't want to think about but they are just there. I thought making a blog would be a good idea because i like to talk and get my point out..sometimes i argue with people just to see what they have to say..to see if they can support what they believe or think. Feel free the challenge me or comment on anything you see written.
I made a decision to give myself to Christ in February of this year..it was the best thing that ever happened to me..you know they say that when you become a follower of Christ that life is going to get harder..they are right..you know life does get harder but it is the fact that we have someone who will help keep us strong when we are down..when we get weak and find it hard to keep our head up..well let me tell you..this past week i have been tested a lot..i quit smoking last Friday..i made a deal with my buddy Terrin that if she eats a banana (she
HATES bananas) then i will quit smoking..she ate a banana so i quit smoking..it is so hard just to not go and have a smoke..tomorrow i am going to be having thanksgiving dinner with my family and almost everyone smokes..it is going to be really hard especially because i am struggling with my relationship with God right now..i am questioning whether or not i am worth it..whether or not this is the right life for me..i have been having feeling like this for quite sometime but i have just been saying its just the devil..but then i think what if everything i believe in is nothing..what if its all wrong and i am going to be condemned to hell for all eternity..what if there is nothing out there..what if when we die we are just dead..nothing..i know that i shouldn't be doing the "what if" but sometimes i think too much and i get a lot of what ifs..it is really hard to be a Christian..for one you have to change everything about your past self if you are anything like i am..Thad's hard..i liked a lot of the things that i use to do..i liked having so many friends that i was never bored..i liked doing what i wanted to do but nothing comes from it..why cant there just be a happy medium..why cant things be dealt with in a different way..if you ask God to give you patience he will send you someone you need to be really patient with..if you ask for wisdom he is going to challene you and put you to the test..make you figure things out..why cant things just be a little easier sometimes..i am trying so hard to change from the way i use to be becasue it got me no where..but there are so many things that are telling me that i am just wasting my time and that i should just say forget it..i mean i even said that i didnt want to go to church tomorrow..church shouldnt be missed for anything..no excuses..everyday i rty to be a good christian..i try to do the christian thing but everyday it get harder..they say it get easier..well i dont see it getting any easier..someimtes i just get so frustrated i want to go and party and be like i use to be..but then i look at where i have come since then..i look at how much i have grown from when i was a punk..i look at what i could lose..i dont want to lose what i have now..i have people who love me..not only but they show and say that they love me..people who are here for me when i need a shoulder to cry on..people who i can rant and rave to and they dont take it personally..people who i can just be myself around..people who i love and thing i have never had before like a relationship between myself and our Creator..i have a hard time putting my trust in Him..i just dont want to get hurt no more..i know that its not Him who will hurt me..but the other and myself. its hard being riased in a completly different world.
-mollie
Lately i have been thinking of making another one but then at times i think that it will be a waste because i will never use it..but more and more each day i need it..i need a way to get things off my mind because let me tell you if i don't get it off my mind then it ain't going no where.. sometimes i think that i am going to go crazy because of the things that i have to think about..things that i don't want to think about but they are just there. I thought making a blog would be a good idea because i like to talk and get my point out..sometimes i argue with people just to see what they have to say..to see if they can support what they believe or think. Feel free the challenge me or comment on anything you see written.
I made a decision to give myself to Christ in February of this year..it was the best thing that ever happened to me..you know they say that when you become a follower of Christ that life is going to get harder..they are right..you know life does get harder but it is the fact that we have someone who will help keep us strong when we are down..when we get weak and find it hard to keep our head up..well let me tell you..this past week i have been tested a lot..i quit smoking last Friday..i made a deal with my buddy Terrin that if she eats a banana (she
HATES bananas) then i will quit smoking..she ate a banana so i quit smoking..it is so hard just to not go and have a smoke..tomorrow i am going to be having thanksgiving dinner with my family and almost everyone smokes..it is going to be really hard especially because i am struggling with my relationship with God right now..i am questioning whether or not i am worth it..whether or not this is the right life for me..i have been having feeling like this for quite sometime but i have just been saying its just the devil..but then i think what if everything i believe in is nothing..what if its all wrong and i am going to be condemned to hell for all eternity..what if there is nothing out there..what if when we die we are just dead..nothing..i know that i shouldn't be doing the "what if" but sometimes i think too much and i get a lot of what ifs..it is really hard to be a Christian..for one you have to change everything about your past self if you are anything like i am..Thad's hard..i liked a lot of the things that i use to do..i liked having so many friends that i was never bored..i liked doing what i wanted to do but nothing comes from it..why cant there just be a happy medium..why cant things be dealt with in a different way..if you ask God to give you patience he will send you someone you need to be really patient with..if you ask for wisdom he is going to challene you and put you to the test..make you figure things out..why cant things just be a little easier sometimes..i am trying so hard to change from the way i use to be becasue it got me no where..but there are so many things that are telling me that i am just wasting my time and that i should just say forget it..i mean i even said that i didnt want to go to church tomorrow..church shouldnt be missed for anything..no excuses..everyday i rty to be a good christian..i try to do the christian thing but everyday it get harder..they say it get easier..well i dont see it getting any easier..someimtes i just get so frustrated i want to go and party and be like i use to be..but then i look at where i have come since then..i look at how much i have grown from when i was a punk..i look at what i could lose..i dont want to lose what i have now..i have people who love me..not only but they show and say that they love me..people who are here for me when i need a shoulder to cry on..people who i can rant and rave to and they dont take it personally..people who i can just be myself around..people who i love and thing i have never had before like a relationship between myself and our Creator..i have a hard time putting my trust in Him..i just dont want to get hurt no more..i know that its not Him who will hurt me..but the other and myself. its hard being riased in a completly different world.
-mollie
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